COLE SPURS THEM ON

West Ham and Tottenham encounters have always been friendly; looking back to the 70's, Spurs fans, with their strong Jewish background, had to endure fascist salutes from certain sections of Hammers fans wearing Doc Martens and skinhead haircuts. On Saturday at Upton Park, the players got in on the act. Carlton Cole scored a contender for peach of the week with a sublime flick of the outside of the right foot, swivel, then thunderbolt with his left. Spurs keeper, Carlos Cudicini, out of his 10 year retirement, was so impressed by Cole's skill, that instead of moving for the ball he decided to let the ball fly past him.


Just 5 minutes later, Cole, wanted to repay the favour. Receiving the ball in his own half, Cole looked for the Spurs player most likely to even up the game, he spotted Jermain Defoe the man who scored an impressive hat trick mid week, and played the ball straight to his feet. Defoe almost ripped the net with his equaliser. Spurs the went on to win the game 2-1 and now sit at the top of the table.



SICKNOTE SHOWDOWN
The boys are doing us proud, not only are they playing, but they are also scoring, although Saha did take one of the worst penalties ever on Saturday. Owen is ahead right now in appearances as Everton have only played 2 games so far. But there's plenty of time for Saha to catch up as it has been reported that Owen pulled a muscle in his arm while blowing kisses to the Man Utd fans after scoring his first goal for the club he has, "always dreamed of playing for".



CRAP KITS 2

Reebok gave the world the Reebok step, and the Reebok pump but they've really outdone themselves with this little number. Bolton Police are offering an amnesty to local gangs, free shirts in exchange for their guns no questions asked. In other news, shootings in the Bolton area have risen by 50% this week.



PLAC UPDATE
Burnley retained their status as leaders of the Alternative league by beating Everton 1-0 at Turfmoor. Everton are now the only team in the Premier League without points and are hotly tipped to appear in the next Crap Kits feature. But it's not all bad, according to Man Utd fans losing to Burnley was, "The best thing that could have happened to us" apparently, losing a game makes you wake up and stay focused for the rest of the season. Remember Liverpool drubbing the Mancs 4-1 last season? Who could forget? To hide their disappointment of getting absolutely stuffed at home by their hated rivals, Man Utd fans tried to convince everyone that they were, "Pleased it happened as it will stop us from getting complacent!" They lost to Fulham in their next match. Next up for the league leaders Burnley is a tough game at Stamford bridge against Chelsea; the Blues are coming off a solid 2-0 win versus Fulham. Everton will be wishing the were playing Wigan as after losing to Burnley, Man Utd were completely focused and thrashed the Latics 5-0.