CIRCUS RING OF FIRE

Can you imagine the sound of "England's greatest defender's" toilet at the England squad's hotel during the World cup draw, just after Spain have been paired with England? According to reports, an 80% fit, Fernando Torres was only named on the team sheet as he was getting off the bus in the Anfield car park. At about the same time, Rio and his side kick Nemanja were squeezing out of a 1970's Mini Cooper alongside 50 other clowns and a midget (more on Michael Owen's return later.)


Player of the game was who Ex Luton, Spurs, manager and commentator, David Pleat , calls Benynoon, but normal people know him as Benayoun. He ran the show; avoiding numerous beachballs and the Manc's comedy duo, Yossi threaded a beautiful through ball to Torres in the 65th minute ...........


and El Nino slammed the ball into the roof of the net. Ngog made it two in stoppage time, and the Reds registered a well needed win. Vidic received his annual red card, for an accumulation of 5 yellows, and Jamie Carragher might be counting his lucky stars for just picking up a yellow for his foul on ex England striker Michael Owen, but then again, Owen deserves it. As the Kop sang on Saturday: Where were you in Istanbul?

CRAP KITS 5: PANIC ON THE STREETS OF BIRMINGHAM
What a mess! This season has really given us some terrible kits: rumours around the second city are that the owner of the sportswear company, Umbro, is a Villa fan. Here's the evidence:



APOLOGIES TO DEAN MARTIN:
When the ball hits the sky, as it's booted too high, that's Zamora!
Life should be wonderful for Bobby Zamora, he's a professional footballer (don't laugh) has bundles of money, a fleet of flash cars, and more misses than your average mormon, however, this particular miss against Man City could go down as the one of the season. Luckily for Fulham, current leaders of the Alternative Premier League, this horrendous effort didn't harm their afternoon at Eastlands, where they picked up a well deserved point. 2-2.



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